– If you have seen Mark Hawkins perform, thank you. If you have not, what are you waiting for? All the cool kids are doing it. Seeing Mark Hawkins has been known to cure cancer in laboratory rats, lower cholesterol in Guinea Pigs and make people laugh loudly in clinical trials.
Why wait for FDA approval? See Mark Hawkins now! Before the cancer or the cholesterol gets you. But wait, there’s more! Mark Hawkins’ show comes with a full money back guarantee. **
Yes, but… who is this “Mark Hawkins”?!
Raised in Detroit and immigrated to Grand Cayman because he’s just that successful and not because he’s laundering money.
Since first stepping on a comedy stage Mark has performed in theaters, colleges, corporate events and cruise ships around the globe. There isn’t a body of salt water that hasn’t had laughter echoing through, caused by Mark’s humor.
Mark has opened for impressive names like Jeff Beck, George Lopez and Phyllis Diller as well as other well-known personalities. I could list more names here but Mark was unable to make a long list because he was too busy returning calls from people like Jeff Beck, George Lopez and Phyllis Diller.
Despite this, Mark has remained a down to earth guy. He has two wonderful daughters and a lovely wife he met on a Cruise ship. She was working as the ship’s doctor and he was headlining the comedy show when he came down with a bad case of the fall-in-loves.
Another interesting fact about Mark is that he has epilepsy. While this affliction does not define him, he does have a tight 10 on the subject. It doesn’t get much more honest than that, so you know he’s not lying about working with big celebrities and being really funny. He’s also bald which is how he decided on the web address www.baldhawk.com.
Oddly, www.baldepilecticmarriedhawkwithtwoperfectdaughtersandhilariouslyfunny.com was taken.
**Money back guarantee is neither meant to imply that there is actually any guarantee or that you will actually get any money back. All cancer cure claims are purely hypothetical and are in no way meant to imply anything real or accurate. Do not see Mark Hawkins without consulting a physician. All restrictions apply. Not available in all areas.